Turquoise gets a bad rap.

Turquoise is defined thus on Wikipedia as:

An opaque, blue-to-green mineral that is a hydrated phosphate of copper and aluminum. It is rare and valuable in finer grades.

According to the Perry Null Trading Company, the most expensive turquoise is Lander Blue, at about $200 to $250 per carat. The stone is dirt cheap compared to diamonds, for example, which can run thousands of dollars a carat. However, turquoise has a certain number of qualities that make it a superior rock to the more famous precious stones like diamond, ruby, emerald, and sapphire.

What makes turquoise better than all the rest?

The only real reason to buy some of the more expensive stones is to either impress a shallow woman or else as an investment. Turquoise has a number of qualities that make it a superior stone to its more high-falutingcousins. It is:

  1. It’s an American stone – Turquoise is also found in other countries, such as Iran, but buying anything from that country is problematic at best. The best versions of the stone can be found in the American Southwest.
  2. The best Turquoise jewelry is made by Native American artists – What can be more woke than supporting the efforts of a marginalized minority group rather than high-priced jewelers from New York or London?
  3. Turquoise is less intimidating than the other stones – Let’s face it, a diamond ring can be pretty daunting, especially when you’re at the jeweler’s, trying to pick out a ring that will set you back six months of pay.
  4. Turquoise is prettier – It just is, due to the appealing blue-green color.

The shallow woman test

Turquoise is, lastly, a great way to find out whether a woman you are planning to marry is shallow or not. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on a diamond ring, head over to the Four Corners USA site and drop a few hundred on an authentic Navajo wedding set.

Then wine and dine your prospective fiancée at a nice Italian trattoria. At the appropriate moment, you go on bended knee and present her with the turquoise engagement ring. The moment of testing has arrived.

If she slaps your face for being a cheapskate and runs crying from the restaurant, at least you know you have avoided an unhappy marriage that would likely end in a divorce with a huge alimony settlement.

However, if she cries, smooches on you, and praises you for being an outside-the-box-thinking gentleman of taste and discernment, you will know that you have a keeper. She will be especially happy when you go on to tell her that with the money you saved, your honeymoon will consist of a three-week cruise in the Eastern Mediterranean. She will have something more interesting to show her gal pals than a gaudy diamond. And nothing can replace visiting the canals of Venice, the Acropolis in Athens, the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, the Holy Land, and the Pyramids of Giza. What is a $10,000 diamond next to those memories?